"The latter part of a wise man's life," said Jonathan Swift, "is taken up in curing the follies, prejudices, and false opinions he had contracted in the former."
The awareness to see one's own follies, prejudices, and false opinions is in fact essential to overcome one's psychocultural programming.
But before we discuss awareness, we should look at how we went about assimilating programs that didn't benefit our evolution.
Apart from what we have been told about the nature of reality, we also actively programmed ourselves on what things meant.
Unfortunately, most of our programming was done when we were children. At that time, we did not have sufficient knowledge or experience to sift through the absurd to uncover the profound.
While many of the belief-systems we adopted as children were designed to help us survive, they may have had a deleterious effect on us as adults. Since these programs for the most part arise from the unconscious, we may often find ourselves responding childishly to challenging events rather than summoning our adult power to move through the problem.
As a child, for example, I adopted the belief that if something did not work out for me, my best option was to move on to something else.
This program created failure and frustration in my adulthood.
As an adult, I noticed that this program to negate effort made my life very difficult.
But by practicing sufficient awareness to notice the pattern and choosing to learn to persist in every endeavor, I noticed a critical shift in my life experience.
What I noticed was that when I applied my new decision to persist when things were not going my way that even seemingly impossible things would turn in my favor.
A program, then, is a repeated pattern arising from a previous decision. It is usually one made as far back as childhood. It is an early and immature decision that creates disharmony and dysfunction in one's present life.
Cultivating awareness breaks the cycle of living out decisions made in childhood.
Awareness is noticing a recurring life situation that disturbs happiness and success. It is inquiring into the original decision that set the life-denying pattern into motion. Once a person sees the program that has been silently and almost invisibly running their life, they can redecide how to live their life and organize their experiences in a more meaningful way.
Saleem Rana got his masters in psychotherapy from California Lutheran University. His articles on the internet have inspired over ten thousand people from around the world. Discover how to create a remarkable life. Free information.
http://theempoweredsoul.com/enter.html
Copyright 2005 Saleem Rana. Please feel free to pass this
article on to your friends, or use it in your ezine or
newsletter. It's a shareware article.
Monday, March 17, 2008
How to Be Fearless
What is fear?
When we were studying emotional imbalances in school, my professor, said fear is an acronym called F.E.A.R. It means a False Estimation Appearing as Real.
We project into the environment our feeling of insecurity and see in it dangers to our well-being. Yet the reality out there has too many variables for us to predict it. Thus, all our anticipations are based on our insecurity, rather than a sudden clairvoyance.
With the proper mindset, determination, and will power, you can conquer your fear.
Everyone has some sort of fear. It is brought about by past traumas, the influence of other fearful people, and our own critical and hypersensitive view of things.
Although, fear is only in our mind, it does appear real to us. How do we break free from it? How long must you remain a hostage to it?
Is there a practical way to release it?
There is a single practical-and unpleasant step-you can take with any fear-and that is to face it.
Again, you have two choices, here.
You can run a mental simulation of the fearful event in your mind until it no longer has any charge. In these simulations, see yourself handling the fear with a sense of courage.
For example, if you have a fear of spiders, you can imagine that you have many friendly spiders as your pets, or that you rescue spiders from getting drowned in rain gutters, etc. In other words, you take on a very positive picture.
Or, you can also actually go through the event physically, and see how your fears are, in fact, in your mind, and not out there.
For example, if you are afraid of public speaking, you can arrange to join a speaker's club and work it out in a public setting.
This is how you face your fears head-on and eliminate them.
Your fears can also be more subtle and pervasive.
What about something more subtle?
You may, for example, want to become a published writer, but you don't know if you can handle the pressure or the rejection from editors, and so on.
Again, doing it, either mentally or even physically will show you that most editors are actually very human; and, in fact, many will even help you to improve your writing skills.
What else?
Tap your whole mind.
In my experience, whenever I'm really determined to do something, my superconscious mind kicks in. I experience a flow of synchronicity that opens a way where before no way existed.
With the proper mindset, literally anything is possible. Faith in your abilities, in your subconscious intelligence, and in the manifestation of amazing coincidences will see you through anything.
Face your fears.
That's the cure.
It's simple and it's uncomfortable, but it works.
Using visualization and/or action can eliminate any fear.
What about getting help?
In addition, you don't have to do it alone. There are many skilled therapists who can help you work through your fears.
In fact, I have found phobias can easily be eliminated with the proper techniques.
Saleem Rana is a psychotherapist in Denver, Colorado.
Attention: I'll show you how to stop panic and anxiety right now! http://theempoweredsoul.com/SelfImprovementBooks/panicattack.html
When we were studying emotional imbalances in school, my professor, said fear is an acronym called F.E.A.R. It means a False Estimation Appearing as Real.
We project into the environment our feeling of insecurity and see in it dangers to our well-being. Yet the reality out there has too many variables for us to predict it. Thus, all our anticipations are based on our insecurity, rather than a sudden clairvoyance.
With the proper mindset, determination, and will power, you can conquer your fear.
Everyone has some sort of fear. It is brought about by past traumas, the influence of other fearful people, and our own critical and hypersensitive view of things.
Although, fear is only in our mind, it does appear real to us. How do we break free from it? How long must you remain a hostage to it?
Is there a practical way to release it?
There is a single practical-and unpleasant step-you can take with any fear-and that is to face it.
Again, you have two choices, here.
You can run a mental simulation of the fearful event in your mind until it no longer has any charge. In these simulations, see yourself handling the fear with a sense of courage.
For example, if you have a fear of spiders, you can imagine that you have many friendly spiders as your pets, or that you rescue spiders from getting drowned in rain gutters, etc. In other words, you take on a very positive picture.
Or, you can also actually go through the event physically, and see how your fears are, in fact, in your mind, and not out there.
For example, if you are afraid of public speaking, you can arrange to join a speaker's club and work it out in a public setting.
This is how you face your fears head-on and eliminate them.
Your fears can also be more subtle and pervasive.
What about something more subtle?
You may, for example, want to become a published writer, but you don't know if you can handle the pressure or the rejection from editors, and so on.
Again, doing it, either mentally or even physically will show you that most editors are actually very human; and, in fact, many will even help you to improve your writing skills.
What else?
Tap your whole mind.
In my experience, whenever I'm really determined to do something, my superconscious mind kicks in. I experience a flow of synchronicity that opens a way where before no way existed.
With the proper mindset, literally anything is possible. Faith in your abilities, in your subconscious intelligence, and in the manifestation of amazing coincidences will see you through anything.
Face your fears.
That's the cure.
It's simple and it's uncomfortable, but it works.
Using visualization and/or action can eliminate any fear.
What about getting help?
In addition, you don't have to do it alone. There are many skilled therapists who can help you work through your fears.
In fact, I have found phobias can easily be eliminated with the proper techniques.
Saleem Rana is a psychotherapist in Denver, Colorado.
Attention: I'll show you how to stop panic and anxiety right now! http://theempoweredsoul.com/SelfImprovementBooks/panicattack.html
Human Motivation and the 3 Motivation Personalities
Human motivation is a response that our body has to some form of either internal or external stimulation.
In simple terms, it means that our body is responding to stimulation. An example is that we are motivated to eat something because we are hungry. We are directing a behavior to a particular goal. Humans need to be motivated to do just about anything in life. That is why it is so Important to set goals.
Sure, we may not need to set a goal to eat, sleep or drink. Those are internal stimulations. But sometimes in life we find that we need to motivate ourselves to do other important functions in life.
Some of these include: losing weight, exercising, quitting smoking, cleaning the house, doing homework or finding a job. Those are just to mention a few.
The bottom line is, we need to set goals to do some of these things. Without goals, we really can't begin to get motivated. As humans, we need to have the reason to do something. That is how our brain works.
There are three basic types of personalities that determine human motivation.
1. The need for achievement is the drive to excel at things and strive to succeed. This type is in it for the competition only.
2. The need for power is the desire to make people behave a certain way with the power of human motivation. This type of person is in it for the power and could care less about the competition.
3. The need for affiliation is the strong needs for close interpersonal relationships with others. This type of person is in it for friends. They will cooperate just to have the social aspect.
These are all types of personalities that are part of human motivation. It is what drives us to think the way we think and desire the things that we desire.
Depending on which human motivation type you are will determine what motivates you. There can also be a combination of two or three to make up someone's personality.
Everyone is different in that different things motivate each and every one of us. In order to get motivated, one needs to first set goals out in front of them to meet. They need to be goals that are within reach.
Then after the goals have been set down, it is time to get a plan on what it will take to meet your goals. Write it down and prioritize the things that need to be done in order to achieve this motivation.
The final stage to human motivation is to make a commitment to keep focused on the goals. Remember, motivation is what drives us all. We need to have it to achieve anything.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report that reveals how to crush procrastination and sustain lasting motivation. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: motivation techniques
In simple terms, it means that our body is responding to stimulation. An example is that we are motivated to eat something because we are hungry. We are directing a behavior to a particular goal. Humans need to be motivated to do just about anything in life. That is why it is so Important to set goals.
Sure, we may not need to set a goal to eat, sleep or drink. Those are internal stimulations. But sometimes in life we find that we need to motivate ourselves to do other important functions in life.
Some of these include: losing weight, exercising, quitting smoking, cleaning the house, doing homework or finding a job. Those are just to mention a few.
The bottom line is, we need to set goals to do some of these things. Without goals, we really can't begin to get motivated. As humans, we need to have the reason to do something. That is how our brain works.
There are three basic types of personalities that determine human motivation.
1. The need for achievement is the drive to excel at things and strive to succeed. This type is in it for the competition only.
2. The need for power is the desire to make people behave a certain way with the power of human motivation. This type of person is in it for the power and could care less about the competition.
3. The need for affiliation is the strong needs for close interpersonal relationships with others. This type of person is in it for friends. They will cooperate just to have the social aspect.
These are all types of personalities that are part of human motivation. It is what drives us to think the way we think and desire the things that we desire.
Depending on which human motivation type you are will determine what motivates you. There can also be a combination of two or three to make up someone's personality.
Everyone is different in that different things motivate each and every one of us. In order to get motivated, one needs to first set goals out in front of them to meet. They need to be goals that are within reach.
Then after the goals have been set down, it is time to get a plan on what it will take to meet your goals. Write it down and prioritize the things that need to be done in order to achieve this motivation.
The final stage to human motivation is to make a commitment to keep focused on the goals. Remember, motivation is what drives us all. We need to have it to achieve anything.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report that reveals how to crush procrastination and sustain lasting motivation. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: motivation techniques
Emotions Controlling The Inner Peace
When a person acts on emotions, the person is allowing the emotions to take over the thoughts. The emotions prepare the body for action. When the emotions become triggered, the trigger hitting the inner source is either negative or positive. Thus to give you an example of emotional response we can provide an illustration, but for the most part when a person has control over the emotions he/she has inner peace.
Example: one woman focusing on work felt a sense of relaxation, however her young son makes a statement that goes something like this. Mom, you do not care if I live or die.
Thus the mother's emotions were triggered, since the son is dearest to her heart, so now she is wondering in her mind why her son feels such way.
As you can see, chaos comes in the example, which is one of the main reasons why people cannot find inner peace. The emotions and thoughts are complex, since if the mechanisms of human nature do not find quiet the person will feel distress.
Therefore, we see an inner peace requires quiet emotions and thoughts. To find your inner peace you must learn self-talk. Mothers often have difficulty since they must care for self, while thinking about their mate, children, and what they need to fill fulfilled. Thus, moms searching for inner peace would be wise to take care of their tasks now, and find area in their day to relax for self.
The many problems today make it difficult to find inner peace. Financial obligations, children, world problems, self-problems and other problems often make it difficult to find quietness of the mind and emotions. Thus, I learned that minimizing the news that the media brings to me has taking a load of my mind. The world problems is something that I cannot do anything about, thus I petition the government and protest the laws, still I do not allow room for the things that I cannot change.
Allowing others to take up residence in your mind is only causing emotional stress. Thus, taking control of your mind means that you are not willing to allow anyone to rent space in your head, especially if the source does not trigger the emotions and thoughts to smile.
The emotions store mechanisms that destroy inner peace. The emotions have information that comes from the subconscious mind. Guile information such as jealousy, desire, anger, hate, et cetera is all stored within the subconscious mind, which reflects on the emotions. Thus, setting back and analyzing self is the answer to finding a resolve. When we express thoughts and emotions, the reflection presents itself to the public. Thus, anyone around you if observant will notice the behaviors displayed by you, a will form an opinion of the type of person you are.
Therefore, if you are lost to your inner self, you may want to ask friends and family what they feel the type of person you are. This will help you come to grip with your self, thus you can start the process of finding your inner peace.
All of us are imperfect human beings. Thus, to work toward perfection is only destroying self. Of course, we can work hard to minimize bad habits and behaviors, but never allow your self-think that you are working toward perfection, since you will be let down at the end of the road, and inner peace will not arrive.
Impulses must be analyzed when self-analyzing self. If you are the type that acts out on impulse, thus, you will not find inner peace since your emotions and thoughts control your actions, behavior and attitude. Impulses are response to emotions that enforces action. If you are accustom to acting out impulsively with every decision you make, thus you will live life looking back at the mistakes you made and kicking your self because the habit and behaviors never cease.
Learning is growing. When you learn from your mistakes, you are tearing down the turbulences that take away from your inner peace. Finding inner peace takes time, effort, skill, and the will to achieve.
Be the ideal person you've always dreamed of becoming! Learn how to acquire any trait (happiness, patience, courage, focus) you desire to possess, attain good health and prosperity, and be in total command of your life at the authors website at: http://www.command-and-master-emotions.com
Example: one woman focusing on work felt a sense of relaxation, however her young son makes a statement that goes something like this. Mom, you do not care if I live or die.
Thus the mother's emotions were triggered, since the son is dearest to her heart, so now she is wondering in her mind why her son feels such way.
As you can see, chaos comes in the example, which is one of the main reasons why people cannot find inner peace. The emotions and thoughts are complex, since if the mechanisms of human nature do not find quiet the person will feel distress.
Therefore, we see an inner peace requires quiet emotions and thoughts. To find your inner peace you must learn self-talk. Mothers often have difficulty since they must care for self, while thinking about their mate, children, and what they need to fill fulfilled. Thus, moms searching for inner peace would be wise to take care of their tasks now, and find area in their day to relax for self.
The many problems today make it difficult to find inner peace. Financial obligations, children, world problems, self-problems and other problems often make it difficult to find quietness of the mind and emotions. Thus, I learned that minimizing the news that the media brings to me has taking a load of my mind. The world problems is something that I cannot do anything about, thus I petition the government and protest the laws, still I do not allow room for the things that I cannot change.
Allowing others to take up residence in your mind is only causing emotional stress. Thus, taking control of your mind means that you are not willing to allow anyone to rent space in your head, especially if the source does not trigger the emotions and thoughts to smile.
The emotions store mechanisms that destroy inner peace. The emotions have information that comes from the subconscious mind. Guile information such as jealousy, desire, anger, hate, et cetera is all stored within the subconscious mind, which reflects on the emotions. Thus, setting back and analyzing self is the answer to finding a resolve. When we express thoughts and emotions, the reflection presents itself to the public. Thus, anyone around you if observant will notice the behaviors displayed by you, a will form an opinion of the type of person you are.
Therefore, if you are lost to your inner self, you may want to ask friends and family what they feel the type of person you are. This will help you come to grip with your self, thus you can start the process of finding your inner peace.
All of us are imperfect human beings. Thus, to work toward perfection is only destroying self. Of course, we can work hard to minimize bad habits and behaviors, but never allow your self-think that you are working toward perfection, since you will be let down at the end of the road, and inner peace will not arrive.
Impulses must be analyzed when self-analyzing self. If you are the type that acts out on impulse, thus, you will not find inner peace since your emotions and thoughts control your actions, behavior and attitude. Impulses are response to emotions that enforces action. If you are accustom to acting out impulsively with every decision you make, thus you will live life looking back at the mistakes you made and kicking your self because the habit and behaviors never cease.
Learning is growing. When you learn from your mistakes, you are tearing down the turbulences that take away from your inner peace. Finding inner peace takes time, effort, skill, and the will to achieve.
Be the ideal person you've always dreamed of becoming! Learn how to acquire any trait (happiness, patience, courage, focus) you desire to possess, attain good health and prosperity, and be in total command of your life at the authors website at: http://www.command-and-master-emotions.com
Why People Fail To Achieve Goals
Although most self-help experts claim that setting goals are the golden key to success, many people set goals and nothing happens.
Why does this happen?
Imagine Harold is obese, went to get a physical checkup, got alarming results, and was sternly warned by his doctor to do something about his excess weight or else....
Motivated by fear, Harold decides to set a goal of losing weight.
His first goal is to read a book on weight loss and to then set a plan into motion.
He reads the book and makes a plan, then months later finds that he did not even follow his plan.
Here is what has probably happened.
He did not write down his goal, and he did not read it daily. In effect, he lost track of what goal he had in mind. He drifted away from his goal and looking back, he sees that he did not do any work toward it.
Looking back over the wasted 6 months when he could have accomplished his goal, he saw that he did not act because-
He felt tired after work, and he did not have the energy to follow his goal of eating right and doing exercise.
He got distracted, and he had to help his mother recover from her hospital visit, his wife deal with the kids and his friend Ed find a new car. Besides, there were ball games, TV shows, and trips to the Zoo with the family.
He justified himself when challenged by his wife on not following his goal with the word "but" in his sentence...as in "I was going to it today BUT I didn't because..."
He got into agreeing while disagreeing by saying, "yes, but" in his sentences...as in "Yes, that is a great idea, and I'm going to do it, BUT..."
He became eloquent in arguing for his limitations. "I'm just one of those people who don't have strong feelings about things." "If only I had been raised by more assertive parents, I might have been able to deal with the pressures at work better."
He started to offer reasons why rather than produce results. "Well you see the reason I can't do it right now is because..."
He made self-defeating choices, moment by moment, day by day, week by week, and month by month.
He basically felt uncomfortable changing his habits. He felt twinges of fear, guilt, and unworthiness. He felt hurt, angry, overwhelmed and confused. And he just "did not feel good" when he tried to work on changing his habits to align with his goals.
After six months, he remained as obese and as unhealthy as before despite his doctor's warning about his alarming physical checkup results.
It's easy to set a goal, and it's easy to make plan, and when you don't know how to execute your plan, it's possible to educate yourself...but the real work is in doing it, diligently, day-by-day, in a highly focused way. The truth is that anyone can achieve any goal if they can get out of their own way and (as the Nike people suggest) "Just Do It."
Saleem Rana is a psychotherapist in Denver, Colorado. If you're up to the challenge and want to create the kind of freedom and lifestyle you truly deserve - starting now - then get his free book from
http://theempoweredsoul.com/enter.html
Why does this happen?
Imagine Harold is obese, went to get a physical checkup, got alarming results, and was sternly warned by his doctor to do something about his excess weight or else....
Motivated by fear, Harold decides to set a goal of losing weight.
His first goal is to read a book on weight loss and to then set a plan into motion.
He reads the book and makes a plan, then months later finds that he did not even follow his plan.
Here is what has probably happened.
He did not write down his goal, and he did not read it daily. In effect, he lost track of what goal he had in mind. He drifted away from his goal and looking back, he sees that he did not do any work toward it.
Looking back over the wasted 6 months when he could have accomplished his goal, he saw that he did not act because-
He felt tired after work, and he did not have the energy to follow his goal of eating right and doing exercise.
He got distracted, and he had to help his mother recover from her hospital visit, his wife deal with the kids and his friend Ed find a new car. Besides, there were ball games, TV shows, and trips to the Zoo with the family.
He justified himself when challenged by his wife on not following his goal with the word "but" in his sentence...as in "I was going to it today BUT I didn't because..."
He got into agreeing while disagreeing by saying, "yes, but" in his sentences...as in "Yes, that is a great idea, and I'm going to do it, BUT..."
He became eloquent in arguing for his limitations. "I'm just one of those people who don't have strong feelings about things." "If only I had been raised by more assertive parents, I might have been able to deal with the pressures at work better."
He started to offer reasons why rather than produce results. "Well you see the reason I can't do it right now is because..."
He made self-defeating choices, moment by moment, day by day, week by week, and month by month.
He basically felt uncomfortable changing his habits. He felt twinges of fear, guilt, and unworthiness. He felt hurt, angry, overwhelmed and confused. And he just "did not feel good" when he tried to work on changing his habits to align with his goals.
After six months, he remained as obese and as unhealthy as before despite his doctor's warning about his alarming physical checkup results.
It's easy to set a goal, and it's easy to make plan, and when you don't know how to execute your plan, it's possible to educate yourself...but the real work is in doing it, diligently, day-by-day, in a highly focused way. The truth is that anyone can achieve any goal if they can get out of their own way and (as the Nike people suggest) "Just Do It."
Saleem Rana is a psychotherapist in Denver, Colorado. If you're up to the challenge and want to create the kind of freedom and lifestyle you truly deserve - starting now - then get his free book from
http://theempoweredsoul.com/enter.html
Recipe for Enchantment - The Three R's: Remembering the Best, Restoring Yourself, Rapture
In today's world there are so many wonderful and inspirational books. There are books filled with stories of Divine intervention, miracles happening, special positive moments never to be forgotten and stories of incredible coincidences. They help make us feel in harmony with the universe. They help us fall asleep and have pleasant dreams. They often bring tears to our eyes, reinforcing an inner sense of wisdom that all is right with the world even when appearances say that is not so.
But there is one thing often missing from these books. It is the mental and emotional perspiration that we need to go through as we struggle to live a life of meaning and joy. The inspiration is there but it's the perspiration that most of us need to put into our daily lives to create for ourselves lives of enchantment. Because, enchantment for most of us, i.e., living a life of joy, a life that reflects many states of well being, again and again, is hard work.
Certainly we yearn for moments when the right thing happens at exactly the right time and the world opens up for us, whether it's a lucky break, meeting the right life partner or winning the lottery. And we all need at least some of those moments. But life, in reality, is filled with hundreds and thousands and probably millions of minutes that are repetitive, boring or simply ordinary. They involve getting up, brushing our teeth, driving to work safely, keeping a job, raising children, fighting off a cold, etc. It is all these times that THE ENCHANTED SELF focuses on.
These are the moments that can be mundane, depressing, dull or can be captivating, enlivening and filled with joy.
What is the difference? The difference is usually the perspiration. I mean the mental and emotional perspiration that is involved in what I call the three R's of enchantment. Let's look at the first of the three R's.
The first is REMEMBERING THE BEST AND LETTING GO OF THE REST. This is a critical component to general well being and a sense of happiness on a daily basis. Most of us have sustained loss and experienced pain. Yes, we've been hurt. We've been short-changed by opportunities or other people. Sometimes we've been stepped upon, left or forgotten.
If we spend our daily life focusing on these disappointments then we cannot release the positive energies we need to make the most of the present moment and to plan for the future. Grudges, negative thinking, disappointments, and not forgiving all get in the way of what can be done with the present. We need our psyche energies to seize opportunities we can take advantage of. This can't happen, if our energies are used up ruminating.
Besides, there is beauty in our own story and most, if not all disappointments we've experienced have strengthened us. Often, we have even developed talents in coping with hard times that can reemerge in ways to enhance pleasure and/or help us be of service to the world. For example, the child that was neglected or yelled at has an opportunity to be particularly kind to others as he or she gets older, maybe to teach others certain parenting skills having known first hand how it feels on the other side.
How do we take all the moments of life that are often repetitive and ordinary, and turn them into captivating personal times? One way is through optimizing our own sense of well being. This internal state is particularly reactive to our emotional and physical states of health. For instance, I remember occasions when good things were about to happen, but I was so overtired or anxious that I could not appreciate a special day. I also remember occasions when nothing happened, but because I felt well rested and truly at peace with myself I enjoyed every moment.
How do we work on restoring ourselves? How do we gather our positive energies to be in our own best interest? Certainly one of the most critical factors is seeing yourself in a positive light. If I don't truly value myself, I am certainly not going to take good care of myself. I am more responsive to the criticism from a negative spouse or parent than my own inner feelings of self worth. I may not take good care of myself and the results can be devastating. Over the years I have seen so many clients who were not thriving because they had internalized negative comments, criticism and opinions from others. The end result was that they began to believe the negative perceptions of themselves and ultimately saw themselves in a poor light.
It is very important to see yourself in a positive light. This means not putting yourself down and not criticizing yourself. It means becoming your own best friend. Often taking better care of yourself becomes essential. For all of us, it is important to get enough rest, eat well, learn how to sort through the negative remarks that hurt, not get caught up and lost in the feelings those remarks engendered, and to value who we really are and what each of us has to offer the world.
This "R" is extremely difficult and involves a lot of mental and emotional perspiration. We are vulnerable to absorbing criticism and negative remarks about ourselves and actually internalizing them, making them ours. So there is much work to be done when we start to sift through feelings that we are less rather than more. We need to think of ourselves as more, not less.
I remember one client who had struggled to begin think of herself as more, not less. Her husband was often critical of her and constantly interruptive. For example when eating out he would often criticize her and spoil her pleasure by suggesting she had put on some pounds and might not want to order a particular item. Around the house he would barge into a room and interrupt her telephone conversation or television show. He would then bring up a subject in which she was presented as the culprit.
It was a wonderful day in her life when she was simply able to say when her husband interrupted her, "I am leaving the house for a few hours. I hope upon my return your mood will be better and you will be treating me more appropriately." She then took the car keys and went to visit a friend. When she came back he was pleasant and in a totally different state. Although this was only part of the correction between them, it was a momentous moment in giving her a sense that not only must she think of herself as more, not less, but she also must have the courage to take positive appropriate action.
Rapture is a strong, full word that incorporates a capacity for joy that affects us in our own mind, body and spirit. It is a feeling of being in harmony in a euphoric or an ecstatic way with others or the universe at large. Obviously, we don't go around in a state of rapture all the time. To experience even states of well being on a regular basis involves tremendous daily practice. Yet, if we work and we perspire, mentally, emotionally, socially we will be rewarded. How? For one thing, the positive actions we take in our lives are pleasing to us and good for us.
In my new book RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT, The Secret Ingredient is YOU!, I talk about so many occasions when people took positive actions and then had the pleasant rewarding experience of positive feelings. These positive feelings varied from person to person yet included the whole spectrum of well being, including joyousness, contentment, satisfaction, pleasure and on occasion, rapture.
In my book I share a reverie that I had one night. I imagined all of my friends and loved ones and then strangers from around the world coming together in big circles dancing in the moonlight. We danced until dawn in my reverie. There was a sense of euphoria that built leading to me to experiencing great joy and even rapture as I indulged in my visualization. I share this one with you because it points out that positive actions can take the form of positive thoughts! Often we dismiss our inner life. I think it's important to document that our inner life is a very real place where we practice many of the states of well being that ultimately take shape through expression in the real world.
Although I have not danced through the night in the moonlight with hundreds of thousands of people, the feelings I had in that reverie certainly translate into many of the positive actions that I take in sharing THE ENCHANTED SELF message. As a matter of fact, without my inner life, I doubt there would be the energy to bring these teachings to others.
Yes, obviously in this discussion we are moving toward the spiritual. Ultimately, the positive energies that we have to give the world require mind, body and spirit. And so you see that enchantment is all about putting the meat in your soul's soup. It is about the muscle that goes with living a life of joy. Perspiration, daily practice, and daily routines that enhance the possibilities of living a life of enchantment, are all of hard work.
Just remember though, before you get discouraged, it is even harder to live a miserable life. We pay for misery in so many ways. We pay for it in feeling fatigued and feeling that we don't have real purpose. We feel inside that there's a hole in our hearts or that we have missed the boat. We can feel aggravated, tense, fed up. We can feel that the future will be as miserable as the past. We can feel that we are ordinary rather than extraordinary. We can pay for a negative attitude with more physical and emotional illness so that the perspiration pours off of us in a different way.
I think it's smarter, since life is a struggle and designed so that we work at whatever we're doing, that we practice enchantment and enjoy the perspiration and inspiration that goes with the practice. So promise yourself to take the JOYRIDE OF YOUR LIFE!
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein , originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF®, a method of bringing delight and meaning into everyday living, invites you to view her new line of ENCHANTED WOMAN products, e-books, and free gifts at
http://www.enchantedself.com.
But there is one thing often missing from these books. It is the mental and emotional perspiration that we need to go through as we struggle to live a life of meaning and joy. The inspiration is there but it's the perspiration that most of us need to put into our daily lives to create for ourselves lives of enchantment. Because, enchantment for most of us, i.e., living a life of joy, a life that reflects many states of well being, again and again, is hard work.
Certainly we yearn for moments when the right thing happens at exactly the right time and the world opens up for us, whether it's a lucky break, meeting the right life partner or winning the lottery. And we all need at least some of those moments. But life, in reality, is filled with hundreds and thousands and probably millions of minutes that are repetitive, boring or simply ordinary. They involve getting up, brushing our teeth, driving to work safely, keeping a job, raising children, fighting off a cold, etc. It is all these times that THE ENCHANTED SELF focuses on.
These are the moments that can be mundane, depressing, dull or can be captivating, enlivening and filled with joy.
What is the difference? The difference is usually the perspiration. I mean the mental and emotional perspiration that is involved in what I call the three R's of enchantment. Let's look at the first of the three R's.
The first is REMEMBERING THE BEST AND LETTING GO OF THE REST. This is a critical component to general well being and a sense of happiness on a daily basis. Most of us have sustained loss and experienced pain. Yes, we've been hurt. We've been short-changed by opportunities or other people. Sometimes we've been stepped upon, left or forgotten.
If we spend our daily life focusing on these disappointments then we cannot release the positive energies we need to make the most of the present moment and to plan for the future. Grudges, negative thinking, disappointments, and not forgiving all get in the way of what can be done with the present. We need our psyche energies to seize opportunities we can take advantage of. This can't happen, if our energies are used up ruminating.
Besides, there is beauty in our own story and most, if not all disappointments we've experienced have strengthened us. Often, we have even developed talents in coping with hard times that can reemerge in ways to enhance pleasure and/or help us be of service to the world. For example, the child that was neglected or yelled at has an opportunity to be particularly kind to others as he or she gets older, maybe to teach others certain parenting skills having known first hand how it feels on the other side.
How do we take all the moments of life that are often repetitive and ordinary, and turn them into captivating personal times? One way is through optimizing our own sense of well being. This internal state is particularly reactive to our emotional and physical states of health. For instance, I remember occasions when good things were about to happen, but I was so overtired or anxious that I could not appreciate a special day. I also remember occasions when nothing happened, but because I felt well rested and truly at peace with myself I enjoyed every moment.
How do we work on restoring ourselves? How do we gather our positive energies to be in our own best interest? Certainly one of the most critical factors is seeing yourself in a positive light. If I don't truly value myself, I am certainly not going to take good care of myself. I am more responsive to the criticism from a negative spouse or parent than my own inner feelings of self worth. I may not take good care of myself and the results can be devastating. Over the years I have seen so many clients who were not thriving because they had internalized negative comments, criticism and opinions from others. The end result was that they began to believe the negative perceptions of themselves and ultimately saw themselves in a poor light.
It is very important to see yourself in a positive light. This means not putting yourself down and not criticizing yourself. It means becoming your own best friend. Often taking better care of yourself becomes essential. For all of us, it is important to get enough rest, eat well, learn how to sort through the negative remarks that hurt, not get caught up and lost in the feelings those remarks engendered, and to value who we really are and what each of us has to offer the world.
This "R" is extremely difficult and involves a lot of mental and emotional perspiration. We are vulnerable to absorbing criticism and negative remarks about ourselves and actually internalizing them, making them ours. So there is much work to be done when we start to sift through feelings that we are less rather than more. We need to think of ourselves as more, not less.
I remember one client who had struggled to begin think of herself as more, not less. Her husband was often critical of her and constantly interruptive. For example when eating out he would often criticize her and spoil her pleasure by suggesting she had put on some pounds and might not want to order a particular item. Around the house he would barge into a room and interrupt her telephone conversation or television show. He would then bring up a subject in which she was presented as the culprit.
It was a wonderful day in her life when she was simply able to say when her husband interrupted her, "I am leaving the house for a few hours. I hope upon my return your mood will be better and you will be treating me more appropriately." She then took the car keys and went to visit a friend. When she came back he was pleasant and in a totally different state. Although this was only part of the correction between them, it was a momentous moment in giving her a sense that not only must she think of herself as more, not less, but she also must have the courage to take positive appropriate action.
Rapture is a strong, full word that incorporates a capacity for joy that affects us in our own mind, body and spirit. It is a feeling of being in harmony in a euphoric or an ecstatic way with others or the universe at large. Obviously, we don't go around in a state of rapture all the time. To experience even states of well being on a regular basis involves tremendous daily practice. Yet, if we work and we perspire, mentally, emotionally, socially we will be rewarded. How? For one thing, the positive actions we take in our lives are pleasing to us and good for us.
In my new book RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT, The Secret Ingredient is YOU!, I talk about so many occasions when people took positive actions and then had the pleasant rewarding experience of positive feelings. These positive feelings varied from person to person yet included the whole spectrum of well being, including joyousness, contentment, satisfaction, pleasure and on occasion, rapture.
In my book I share a reverie that I had one night. I imagined all of my friends and loved ones and then strangers from around the world coming together in big circles dancing in the moonlight. We danced until dawn in my reverie. There was a sense of euphoria that built leading to me to experiencing great joy and even rapture as I indulged in my visualization. I share this one with you because it points out that positive actions can take the form of positive thoughts! Often we dismiss our inner life. I think it's important to document that our inner life is a very real place where we practice many of the states of well being that ultimately take shape through expression in the real world.
Although I have not danced through the night in the moonlight with hundreds of thousands of people, the feelings I had in that reverie certainly translate into many of the positive actions that I take in sharing THE ENCHANTED SELF message. As a matter of fact, without my inner life, I doubt there would be the energy to bring these teachings to others.
Yes, obviously in this discussion we are moving toward the spiritual. Ultimately, the positive energies that we have to give the world require mind, body and spirit. And so you see that enchantment is all about putting the meat in your soul's soup. It is about the muscle that goes with living a life of joy. Perspiration, daily practice, and daily routines that enhance the possibilities of living a life of enchantment, are all of hard work.
Just remember though, before you get discouraged, it is even harder to live a miserable life. We pay for misery in so many ways. We pay for it in feeling fatigued and feeling that we don't have real purpose. We feel inside that there's a hole in our hearts or that we have missed the boat. We can feel aggravated, tense, fed up. We can feel that the future will be as miserable as the past. We can feel that we are ordinary rather than extraordinary. We can pay for a negative attitude with more physical and emotional illness so that the perspiration pours off of us in a different way.
I think it's smarter, since life is a struggle and designed so that we work at whatever we're doing, that we practice enchantment and enjoy the perspiration and inspiration that goes with the practice. So promise yourself to take the JOYRIDE OF YOUR LIFE!
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein , originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF®, a method of bringing delight and meaning into everyday living, invites you to view her new line of ENCHANTED WOMAN products, e-books, and free gifts at
http://www.enchantedself.com.
Lucid dreaming is something everyone can do by employing certain key techniques
Lucid dreaming is something everyone can do by employing certain key techniques. This article explains those techniques.
Reality testing and dream signs
The secret to lucid dreaming success is to get yourself into the habit of noticing when you are dreaming and when you are not. The way you do this is to train yourself to do reality checks during your waking hours. Reality checks are conscious, deliberate tests that will reveal whether you are awake or dreaming. If you consistently practice reality checks during your waking hours and then one day (or rather one night) you will do a reality check during a dream, when, hopefully, you will spot that you are actually dreaming. This is the moment of 'going lucid', and, after perhaps weeks of hard work, to discover that you are actually lucid dreaming is a wonderful moment.
Try doing reality tests four or five times a day. Ask yourself, 'Am I dreaming now?' A good time to do a reality test is just after something odd happens during your waking hours, the logic being that many odd things happen in dreams, and if you can get into the habit of reality checking right after something unusual happens, then sooner of later you will do a reality test in a dream, and then the dream will reveal itself.
Reality tests not only focus your mind on whether you are awake or dreaming, they also focus your mind on looking for dream signs, signs which give away an experience as a dream. When you do reality tests during the day, consciously look out for dream signs -- any indications which would give away an experience as being a dream. Of course during the day there will be no dream signs, you'll be awake, but your search for dream sign in your waking life will prepare you for an experience where you will think you are awake, but you'll actually discover that you are dreaming.
What sort of dream signs should you look out for?
Watches are good things to focus on, so make sure you wear one during the day. Look hard at the numbers to see if they remain constant or if they change. Do this often enough, and one night in a dream you will stare at your watch and the magic will begin. I am referring of course to the dream phenomenon noted by researchers where text (words or numbers) changes before the dreamer's eyes. This happens in 75% of cases where the text is re-read and in 95% of cases where it is re-read twice. So during the day, train yourself to look at the numbers on your watch, then look away and back again, away and back again. If the numbers on the watch face change then 'no' you are not going mad, the truth is that you are actually dreaming. Re-examining any form of text in a dream is likely to give away the dream since the words will rarely hold their configuration on repeated re-examination. What you just read and understood as a coherent sentence will in most cases morph into nonsense when you re-read it, thereby revealing your experience as a dream, provided, of course, that you have trained yourself to spot this dream sign.
A good idea is to carry a bit of text around with you during the day and look at it regularly. Soon enough you will remember to look at the same text in a dream (your mind will reproduce it) and you'll spot the dream sign as the text breaks up, or changes before your eyes.
Another dream sign to look out for are malfunctioning light switches; try flicking a light switch in a dream and you'll generally find that they do not work to alter the lighting conditions.
Other dream signs will be your abilities. In dreams we are often able to fly, we may be able to pass through walls, or make things around us move. Things around you may also not be as they are in waking life: in dreams you might encounter strangely coloured animals, malfunctioning devices, and you may meet deceased people. In order that you are ready to spot these odd occurrences in a dream, try to imagine such things happening during the day. One such test that works for me is to imagine myself lifting off the ground. I did this several times a day for a few days and sure enough, I remembere
Stephen Turner has set up an information and resource website Lucid Dreaming. You'll find lucid dreaming information and advice, articles, features, discussion and specially chosen links.
Reality testing and dream signs
The secret to lucid dreaming success is to get yourself into the habit of noticing when you are dreaming and when you are not. The way you do this is to train yourself to do reality checks during your waking hours. Reality checks are conscious, deliberate tests that will reveal whether you are awake or dreaming. If you consistently practice reality checks during your waking hours and then one day (or rather one night) you will do a reality check during a dream, when, hopefully, you will spot that you are actually dreaming. This is the moment of 'going lucid', and, after perhaps weeks of hard work, to discover that you are actually lucid dreaming is a wonderful moment.
Try doing reality tests four or five times a day. Ask yourself, 'Am I dreaming now?' A good time to do a reality test is just after something odd happens during your waking hours, the logic being that many odd things happen in dreams, and if you can get into the habit of reality checking right after something unusual happens, then sooner of later you will do a reality test in a dream, and then the dream will reveal itself.
Reality tests not only focus your mind on whether you are awake or dreaming, they also focus your mind on looking for dream signs, signs which give away an experience as a dream. When you do reality tests during the day, consciously look out for dream signs -- any indications which would give away an experience as being a dream. Of course during the day there will be no dream signs, you'll be awake, but your search for dream sign in your waking life will prepare you for an experience where you will think you are awake, but you'll actually discover that you are dreaming.
What sort of dream signs should you look out for?
Watches are good things to focus on, so make sure you wear one during the day. Look hard at the numbers to see if they remain constant or if they change. Do this often enough, and one night in a dream you will stare at your watch and the magic will begin. I am referring of course to the dream phenomenon noted by researchers where text (words or numbers) changes before the dreamer's eyes. This happens in 75% of cases where the text is re-read and in 95% of cases where it is re-read twice. So during the day, train yourself to look at the numbers on your watch, then look away and back again, away and back again. If the numbers on the watch face change then 'no' you are not going mad, the truth is that you are actually dreaming. Re-examining any form of text in a dream is likely to give away the dream since the words will rarely hold their configuration on repeated re-examination. What you just read and understood as a coherent sentence will in most cases morph into nonsense when you re-read it, thereby revealing your experience as a dream, provided, of course, that you have trained yourself to spot this dream sign.
A good idea is to carry a bit of text around with you during the day and look at it regularly. Soon enough you will remember to look at the same text in a dream (your mind will reproduce it) and you'll spot the dream sign as the text breaks up, or changes before your eyes.
Another dream sign to look out for are malfunctioning light switches; try flicking a light switch in a dream and you'll generally find that they do not work to alter the lighting conditions.
Other dream signs will be your abilities. In dreams we are often able to fly, we may be able to pass through walls, or make things around us move. Things around you may also not be as they are in waking life: in dreams you might encounter strangely coloured animals, malfunctioning devices, and you may meet deceased people. In order that you are ready to spot these odd occurrences in a dream, try to imagine such things happening during the day. One such test that works for me is to imagine myself lifting off the ground. I did this several times a day for a few days and sure enough, I remembere
Stephen Turner has set up an information and resource website Lucid Dreaming. You'll find lucid dreaming information and advice, articles, features, discussion and specially chosen links.
It Takes As Much Energy To Fail As To Succeed
As humans we have only a limited amount of mental, emotional and physical energy before we need to recharge.
It seems logical, then, to conclude that energy is an essential element in both failure and success.
They both use energy.
And it takes as much energy to fail as to succeed.
Many people don't quite fathom this simple concept.
After all, it seems that failing is like rolling down a hill while succeeding is like climbing up one.
Failure appears easier because it's root appears to be inertia, which is expressed as apathy, grief, fear, lust, anger, and pride.
Yet when you really think about it, all these states are extremely debilitating and result in extreme drops in energy.
In addition, these states stimulate very difficult circumstances, and love and support, finances, and health are further drains in energy.
It takes a lot of energy to fail.
Like an old gas-guzzling car, you get very poor mileage, and performance drops with each mile. Energy is consumed rapidly and inefficiently.
Conversely, success is a rise to states of courage, acceptance, and peace.
Since success is never in isolation, it always serves the public good as well. Any act of success is an outflow of contribution. It benefits everyone.
Once you reach a certain level of success, it actually becomes less energy-consuming, and a certain momentum takes over.
In fact, success itself is a highly energy-efficient state, because you feel good, you're surrounded by cooperative people, and your relationships flourish. Your financial well-being and health improves, too.
It takes energy, however, to become successful-because, like a rocket ship pressed down by the earth's gravitational field, you need to exert an excess of force to climb to new heights.
Furthering this analogy, once you're in space, you need to burn less fuel and yet can travel with equal or greater velocity.
Naturally everybody would rather succeed than fail, but success is envisioned as an almost a mythical concept, attained by only a few, and very often restricted only to certain aspects of life and not as a state of being.
How does one succeed in life in general?
The answer is both simple and complex.
It's simple because you become successful by learning how to be successful. You associate with successful people and learn how they do things. You read books on success. You master the elements of financial literacy, relationship building, and health maintenance. Study and practice-that's how you do it.
It's complex because there isn't really a curriculum laid out for you-and you have to learn how to self-educate yourself about success.
It takes energy to learn to be successful, but once you get the hang of it, you can get on a roll and then things just seem to escalate from then on.
Success incorporates failing-but rather than perceiving failure as a limit and a stopping point, a success-oriented person sees it as a learning tool, responding to it as feedback.
Rather than using failure as a way of dropping to a low mood level and becoming ineffectual, it is used to learn what not to do and how to discontinue what does not work. It takes some experimenting to learn what works and what doesn't. Learning what doesn't work is valuable information because it pushes you further to what does work.
The energy it takes to become successful, then, is twofold: the energy it takes to learn new ways of doing things, and the energy it takes to learn to using failure as a stepping stone rather than a sign to just give up.
Since it takes as much energy to succeed as to fail, doesn't it make sense to start pointing yourself in the right direction?
Saleem Rana would love to share his inspiring ideas with you. Hunting everywhere for a life worth living? Discover the life of your dreams. His book, Never Ever Give Up is offered at no cost to stimulate your success. http://www.theempoweredsoul.com/enter.html
It seems logical, then, to conclude that energy is an essential element in both failure and success.
They both use energy.
And it takes as much energy to fail as to succeed.
Many people don't quite fathom this simple concept.
After all, it seems that failing is like rolling down a hill while succeeding is like climbing up one.
Failure appears easier because it's root appears to be inertia, which is expressed as apathy, grief, fear, lust, anger, and pride.
Yet when you really think about it, all these states are extremely debilitating and result in extreme drops in energy.
In addition, these states stimulate very difficult circumstances, and love and support, finances, and health are further drains in energy.
It takes a lot of energy to fail.
Like an old gas-guzzling car, you get very poor mileage, and performance drops with each mile. Energy is consumed rapidly and inefficiently.
Conversely, success is a rise to states of courage, acceptance, and peace.
Since success is never in isolation, it always serves the public good as well. Any act of success is an outflow of contribution. It benefits everyone.
Once you reach a certain level of success, it actually becomes less energy-consuming, and a certain momentum takes over.
In fact, success itself is a highly energy-efficient state, because you feel good, you're surrounded by cooperative people, and your relationships flourish. Your financial well-being and health improves, too.
It takes energy, however, to become successful-because, like a rocket ship pressed down by the earth's gravitational field, you need to exert an excess of force to climb to new heights.
Furthering this analogy, once you're in space, you need to burn less fuel and yet can travel with equal or greater velocity.
Naturally everybody would rather succeed than fail, but success is envisioned as an almost a mythical concept, attained by only a few, and very often restricted only to certain aspects of life and not as a state of being.
How does one succeed in life in general?
The answer is both simple and complex.
It's simple because you become successful by learning how to be successful. You associate with successful people and learn how they do things. You read books on success. You master the elements of financial literacy, relationship building, and health maintenance. Study and practice-that's how you do it.
It's complex because there isn't really a curriculum laid out for you-and you have to learn how to self-educate yourself about success.
It takes energy to learn to be successful, but once you get the hang of it, you can get on a roll and then things just seem to escalate from then on.
Success incorporates failing-but rather than perceiving failure as a limit and a stopping point, a success-oriented person sees it as a learning tool, responding to it as feedback.
Rather than using failure as a way of dropping to a low mood level and becoming ineffectual, it is used to learn what not to do and how to discontinue what does not work. It takes some experimenting to learn what works and what doesn't. Learning what doesn't work is valuable information because it pushes you further to what does work.
The energy it takes to become successful, then, is twofold: the energy it takes to learn new ways of doing things, and the energy it takes to learn to using failure as a stepping stone rather than a sign to just give up.
Since it takes as much energy to succeed as to fail, doesn't it make sense to start pointing yourself in the right direction?
Saleem Rana would love to share his inspiring ideas with you. Hunting everywhere for a life worth living? Discover the life of your dreams. His book, Never Ever Give Up is offered at no cost to stimulate your success. http://www.theempoweredsoul.com/enter.html
How To Solve Persistent And Frustrating Problems
How To Solve Persistent And Frustrating Problems
"To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly," said Henri Bergson.
Life is a creative act.
It is a series of events, one after another, and sometimes one over another.
Through this procession of things happening to us, we experience change-and hopefully, growth.
Maturity, however, is not assured. We may have to repeat the same thing over and over again. Yet we still don't get it right.
When a chain of events that cause discomfort repeat in a circular pattern, we call them problems.
They can be infuriating...and extremely frustrating. The longer they continue, the less we know what to do about them.
For example--no matter how hard you work, you always end up with more month than money.
Or, no matter how hard you try to be patient, kind, and understanding, you always end up in a relationship with someone who is extremely difficult.
And so on. I think you get the point.
These are circular issues. You may change the job or the person-and yet, somehow, you end up in almost the same situation.
What is the solution?
It's creativity.
It's not about doing more or trying harder, nor is it even about soliciting an expert opinion-it's about changing your mind, your circumstances, and your life by finding a new answer that specifically works for you.
Since, ultimately, you're the final authority on your life-the best advice from an expert will be simply to point you to your own creativity. General advice may give you some direction, but you have to tailor it to your particular psyche for it to work.
Here, then, are three quick steps to becoming creative.
It does take some work, but not as much as staying stuck.
First, define the problem as clearly as you can. The length of words or quality of language you use doesn't matter. Make it so plain and so obvious that anybody reading it would understand right away what is bothering you.
Second, step outside the problem and pretend to be someone else, an expert observer. Choose a known expert, either someone you personally know or a historical or famous personality. It has to be someone whom you highly respect. Now pretend to be them, to be inside their body and their mind as they review your problem and think about it.
Third, as this world-famous expert, make a list of all possible answers, from the sublime to the ridiculous. Brainstorm until you can't come up with any more answers. Then take a long break and brainstorm some more.
Finally, turn it over to your unconscious. Your answer will come in an unexpected way. It may be something that you brainstormed-or it may be something else entirely.
You'll know exactly what to do and how to do it.
Saleem Rana would love to share his inspiring ideas with you. Hunting everywhere for a life worth living? Discover the life of your dreams. His book, Never Ever Give Up is offered at no cost to stimulate your success. http://www.theempoweredsoul.com/enter.html
"To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly," said Henri Bergson.
Life is a creative act.
It is a series of events, one after another, and sometimes one over another.
Through this procession of things happening to us, we experience change-and hopefully, growth.
Maturity, however, is not assured. We may have to repeat the same thing over and over again. Yet we still don't get it right.
When a chain of events that cause discomfort repeat in a circular pattern, we call them problems.
They can be infuriating...and extremely frustrating. The longer they continue, the less we know what to do about them.
For example--no matter how hard you work, you always end up with more month than money.
Or, no matter how hard you try to be patient, kind, and understanding, you always end up in a relationship with someone who is extremely difficult.
And so on. I think you get the point.
These are circular issues. You may change the job or the person-and yet, somehow, you end up in almost the same situation.
What is the solution?
It's creativity.
It's not about doing more or trying harder, nor is it even about soliciting an expert opinion-it's about changing your mind, your circumstances, and your life by finding a new answer that specifically works for you.
Since, ultimately, you're the final authority on your life-the best advice from an expert will be simply to point you to your own creativity. General advice may give you some direction, but you have to tailor it to your particular psyche for it to work.
Here, then, are three quick steps to becoming creative.
It does take some work, but not as much as staying stuck.
First, define the problem as clearly as you can. The length of words or quality of language you use doesn't matter. Make it so plain and so obvious that anybody reading it would understand right away what is bothering you.
Second, step outside the problem and pretend to be someone else, an expert observer. Choose a known expert, either someone you personally know or a historical or famous personality. It has to be someone whom you highly respect. Now pretend to be them, to be inside their body and their mind as they review your problem and think about it.
Third, as this world-famous expert, make a list of all possible answers, from the sublime to the ridiculous. Brainstorm until you can't come up with any more answers. Then take a long break and brainstorm some more.
Finally, turn it over to your unconscious. Your answer will come in an unexpected way. It may be something that you brainstormed-or it may be something else entirely.
You'll know exactly what to do and how to do it.
Saleem Rana would love to share his inspiring ideas with you. Hunting everywhere for a life worth living? Discover the life of your dreams. His book, Never Ever Give Up is offered at no cost to stimulate your success. http://www.theempoweredsoul.com/enter.html
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